GIRLS: You lot got alcohol, music and drugs for a party? TOLSTOY: We've got two cans of Fosters. JOBBER: Actually, we've only got one

Thought I'd start the post off with a homage to dc and tolstoy. They normally pepper their blogs with such moody pictures

I'd had an absolute dogdirt day at work, but luckily I was off for 4 days. I also discovered when I got back that Ive gotta go to the dentists, but that can wait cos I'm poor, and would rather spend my money on booze than on my wellbeing

I met up with my old workmates from the Bird in Hand days when I was assistant there. Charlie was a bit shy, but still acted as posh and spazzy as she always used to

then she told me a story about her racist grandad. Its funny how posh people are so overtly racist, but I was surprised that her family didn't read the Daily Mail.

my old mate andy has gone back to being a chef there, and even goes out with Charlie now. The dirty little devil

I sank a few pints, then decided to run from the Moss Trooper to the met stop. And then I fell asleep on the met like a (drunken) retard

I told jobber and tolstoy I'd meet them in Subspace for the 80's night in town

for some reason the soap dispenser had the same slime as the stuff in sewers on Ghostbusters 2

eventually jobber and tolstoy turned up. Tolstoy had been up from Southend since the start of the week. I was already proper hammered

he was sporting an S style two t-shirt look. It also looked inside out but it wasn't, it was just a bit rubbish

snaps

then to get me even more destroyed we tanked a load of vodka redbulls. It was distressing

the played Loveshack/Groove is the Heart combo again. I threw up in my hands in disgust. probably

I told jobber that he should have that as his profile picture on facebook, seeing as he loves his two McDonalds belts more than life
then we hit the vodka shots straight with water chasers

jobber asked tolstoy to leave him some water but he left him fuck all. Hence the snarl

he took it like a beggar though. And then, surprise surprise, the wheels fell off my night in a big way

So much so, that I forgot to take any pictures cos I was so drunk. So you don't get to see pictures of:

- Me getting sleazed on by a girl with orange eye shadow;
- The two birds who were coming back to jobbers (that being the blog title quote)
- Tolstoy shitting himself cos he was talking to two girls;
- Tolstoy then licking a girls lolly and claiming it counted 'as a shag'
- Tolstoy scaring the two girls away; and finally
- Me shitting myself that talking to a chubby girl on the bus might get me beaten up by the backrow scallies.

I'm such a good blogger!