"ive gone to the venue and you lot r gonna pay..."

I'd like to start this by saying 'Hola' to the Spanish viewers of this blog who seem to check it quite a lot. Ive got no idea who you are, but you should leave a comment on the post telling me how you found the blog

Anyways, roll on another week...I'm skint and have £30 to last me till payday. We were out tonite meeting up with jobber and Barber

Ive always got enough for a met ticket though. I'm no rogue. I was early as well. Man of efficency...

first one there. It was a thin crew tonite, just me S and bigman at Timperley

We had to go to the shop so bigman could get cash. I spotted this nuts chocolate bar. Never seen it before. It literally is nuts as well, with a peanut butter centre. Noone bought anything though. Not even the Worlds Worst Person (WWP)

off we trundled, I suggested the pub with the matures singing karaoke in, The Old Nags Head.it was rammed and I got berated for it

so instead we tore over to Vera Duckworths pub, The Old Grapes, for banter. Me and S thought we could hear the backing beat to 'World in Motion' inside so we sang the entire song. Bigman looked perplexed, but was on hand to feed us the occasional lyric

It was freezing for skinny people like me and the WWP so we moved the table under the heaters. I say heaters...they could have easily been placebo's and were just red lights

moz joined us, and so did this guy, who was offering us free booze. We sensed a scam...

He gave us all a glass of booze and these vouchers. I think Moz pointed out the catch was the guy was encouraging us to mix our drinks. Me and WWP had to switch from Guinness to San Miguel. but it didn't go down well

we didn't hear anything from jobber who was with his brother and Barber so we instinctively queued up for 42's. Then we got a call when we were 2 from the front but it was too late to jump off the bandwagon...

In we went, and got seats straight off the bat. We decided to play 'stack' as well, which was a huge mistake...

We were playing Prison Rules 'stack' as well- Doubles.I worked out that we had drunk 4 vodka redbulls in 15-20 minutes, but 'stack' brought out panic in everyone, even though its not that kind of game...

jobber sent some text to bigman saying "ive gone to the venue and you lot r gonna pay..." so Moz decided to send the same message 10 times to jobber. If you click on the picture it should reveal what he put...

these big armed beauties invaded our sausage fest and momentarily slowed down our soul destroying game of 'stack'

moz got excited and it came out of his nose.

I can't be yours moz...

Hendrix was getting a perve on looking down that birds top

the WWP put the stack on the table and it got taken away by a glass collector. He just couldn't be happy for us could he?

then we went for some dancefloor carnage

this bird appeared to love me

I was full to the brim with double vodka redbulls so I'm guessing I acted like a retard

S came back to us with warpaint on. He said that it was some girls birthday and she was giving out facepaint. As it was a bandwagon, S jumped on it. And I did as well, I even tried to draw O(+> on Moz's arm but it was rubbish


high energy banter

we couldn't find bigman so we thought he'd done his usual trick and just gone AWOL. So we went for, as Golds would probably say, some 'taxi carnage'

bigman rang me in the taxi and said he was outside

so we directed him to our taxi

he explained he was at the back of the club getting his sleaze on with, and I quote, a 'fairly disgraceful bird'

I did my best to do a dc pose

for shits and giggles we rang jobber and sang the entire italian national anthem to him down the phone

"That was an isolated incident"

So on Saturday, me jobber and S watched a terrible terrible FA Cup Final

But the day got better as the booze sank in and we played Pro Evo. Then we watched a shitload of bollywood tunes. Aap Ka Surroor is my personal favourite

much bottles/sainsburys bags were had

Before we took off to meet the rest in Manchester, we watched some mad Brasilian gameshow whereby fit women have to work out which of the three blokes in front of them are 'straight', 'gay' and 'in a couple'
at least, thats what we thought they were on about. They could have been putting signs saying 'blind', 'retarded' and 'disabled' but we will never truly know cos none of us speak portuguese

blast from the past....Jobber circa 2001

then we got the bus to town, and onto Overdraft


then from Overdraft we went to a cashpoint. Moz is owed money by me and jobber for the Prince tickets
en route to The Venue, someone pointed out that the sky looked like the Turkish National flag. But my camera work is poor, so its pretty small (and slack)But I'm sure Turkish nationals had a tear in their eye looking at the sky that night

dc spotted some bird with an arm cast on. "she must have had a wanking injury" he said
I managed to do the old trick of taking a picture with the sole intent of capturing the wanker with bad technique on the right

These two spent the whole night trying to perfect the Nick Schofield 'disgust' pose on our camera phones. Unfortunately I can't put it on the internet, cos it would probably bring down civilisations


dc pointed out a bird that met my 'arm quota'

since we secured the seats in The Venue, we could hit the booze to our hearts content, yet 3 of us were bloated after half a day of bottled lager...

The Worlds Worst Person/The Optimist/Quaveface

He comes complete with sweat patches

the WWP defended his actions on a topic re: his relationship by stating it was an "isolated incident". I could go into further details, but that would put me in his terrority of spitefulness, and I'm only the second worlds worst person" at the minute

Bigman went Gangsta

Moz went home. Its hard not to call him Princey/Crown Prince of Camp when his parting shot is this pose

dancefloor carnage

this bird has been on the blog before as a willing participant. This time I went rogue and snapped her voyeur style

dc in his emo pose

disgust

I seem to be provoking some terrible reactions that night


the night wound down, and The Optimist got his man bag out early and engineered an early exit. I wasn't having any of it, but dc relented

so we marched out into the night. According to dc, The Optimist doesn't get nearly enough stick for his man bag

a couple of pictures of Manchester at night...

I should work for the tourist board! that is, if the tourist board employed a cameraman with poor technique who only worked whilst drunk and at night.

then we queued for the taxi. For some reason the yellow jacketed taxi rank officials wore balaclava's like they were the Real IRA. I don't think the IRAwould have got very far though if they abandoned fatigues and went with high vis jackets. Maybe at a happy hardcore rave.

In the taxi, the optimist demanded to go home, yet the rest wanted to go for food in Rusholme. He shouted loudly that cos he got into the taxi first, he ultimately was in charge, and we could all get out. I told the taxi driver to go to Rusholme but this was loudly shouted over by S. "TIMPERLEY TIMPERLEY!!" he cried

We all conceded and went home. and he paid the least as well.
Karma's gonna get you S...