"I'm just gonna drink as many double vodka redbulls as I can, then throw up"

After my boozy one in Ramsbottom, I had to trek across Manchester to get to Fallowfield for sadderday nite

I was gonna park my car and get the bus in with jobber to meet the rest. I got stuck in traffic though
turns out martyn was joining us for some epic carnage. I was half tempted to stay at theirs cos Athletic Club were playing Valencia next

We met the rest of them in Aqua. They seem to enjoy employing a hundred staff for what is essentially a shit and quiet bar

These two onionheads decided to snort tequila before we got there. Even though Karl is a doctor and said it was a foolish thing to do

Moz seemingly went out and bought a Mr Men book. It is one which sums up Nick apparently

DC tried to usurp that by wearing a sown in vest to a shirt. It doesnt even have a back to the vest. Its beyond reasoning


Then we tore over to 42's. I tried to get a discount using a different clubs leaflet.
dc had left by then in his policy of going home when we go to 42s

secrets

Martyn clocked the two birds from Shameless in the club. I asked him to sum up his excitement...

By this time him and bigman both kept buying shitloads of double vodbulls. They were both just destroyed
I was so behind, I just bought myself out of the round

then dc reappeared. He did a turnaround and went to Bedlam before coming here for some carnage

bigman was being a pest to these two birds. Can you tell?

"I'm just gonna drink as many double vodka redbulls as I can then throw up"

this bird was a full hit lesbian. She struck up some sort of rapport with Karl. When she talked to jobber later, Martyn flew into a rage and starting saying stuff like "don't you touch him!"

dc was given freedom to produce some emo shots for Epicly Carnage

then we went to the bar. the hired gun looked like Ugly Betty

this bird was a fucking dick. She wouldn't make room for us to sit down on our booth and just sat on the end looking miserable.
According to dc, she had just been left by her boyfriend but I didn't give a shit, I couldnt be compassionate for her

I took martyn onto the dancefloor and this bird was loving the craic. I offered her some of my drink and she said 'is it spiked?' to which I said yes. She still drank it. Then I asked for my beads back and she went apeshit and threw them on the the floor :(


Mart also turned into drunken matchmaker for me and encouraged me to goose some nice bird. She looked like she had LSE and I got my sleaze on. I seem to remember telling her that I was only gonna buy her a double vodbull (?!)
Unfortunately I lost concentration after a while cos I was hammered and dropped the ball. she disappeared into the smoke ...


Bigman, DC and karl went for a curry. Bigman went AWOL from that little excursion and ran off into the night. I got told by martyn that we were leaving so I went outside. However noone was there and I had to wait for half an hour until jobber came out

turns out martyn didnt tell anyone that we were leaving, and me and jobber waited till the end for him. turns out he had already left...


more kushboo on B4U. She's a fucking dream

eventually he turned up destroyed ages after me and jobber

bedtime viewing

according to Jobber my morning attire resembled Farouk Bulsara...

"it's your fault cos you've made him nice"

met up with bigman at his place

jobber was on the wrong side of the tracks. you can spot his wig a mile off

we decided to go to Aqua

as you can see, its a Manchester hotspot...

the barmaid still had her coat on when she was serving us

I think that was partly due to it being cold and partly because we were probably in Aqua before her

Golds mate Raad came out for some carnage. He's been on a boat for a while apparantly

Nick and his girlfriend Sarah joined us for banter as well

rumour has it that Nick has been put on a diet and kept away from his beloved kebabs...
(my source has got previous for being an embellisher and was the architect of the curry kiss)

how can you make an empty bar that isnt cheap and is so cold you have to keep your coats on, even better?
why, you have a power cut of course!
because i'm retarded this picture doesnt show this

but this one does

Moz and his girlfriend Sarah joined us. Shes going back to Indonesia soon leaving the Crown Prince of campness heartbroken
According to Moz she thinks I look like a pretty girl. Thats the kind of complement I look for from girls...

shirts with sewn in t-shirts are still de rigeur for S clones...

But both golds and dc are late on the bandwagon seeing as "TAFKA" S no longer wears them as his uniform

word on the street was that Primark had to make staff redundant after Nick abandoned that look

after Aqua me and bigman went to Subway for some scran and then I got some cash
we also wrongly assumed 42's was on the cards

we got a message saying the queue was massive and the rest of the crew had gone to Walkabout

bigman seemed to enjoy my scarf quite a bit

even though 42's was laden with poon for the first time in a while we both jumped ship and went to Walkabout

Sarah didnt feel well and so her and Moz left early. Get well soon!

After this picture me and jobber went to request Prince but we couldnt work out how to get to the DJ booth
then some random bird told me and him:

"you two dont look like you should be in here" and "you two are the coolest people in here"

that was probably because of jobbers afro and my birds nest

the worlds worst person? not anymore it seems...
I'm starting to believe his mantra of "I'm a ch***** m**!"

bigman tried to impress dc with an impromtu Akeem dance from WWF

then he told Nicks girlfriend Sarah that its her fault "...cos shes made him nice"

I'm guessing she has no idea what he was talking about

golds was terribly excited that we were back in his favourite pulling ground

there was no dancefloor cos a live band was playing so we huddled round the quizzer having banter

I'm gonna say that sarah chose the correct answer and nick jumped on the bandwagon

golds tried to get his sleaze on. I used him later on as my wingman and got a neck

He was fuming because my tactic was to nonchalently sit on a table and watch sky sports news...
who knew that would work? I believe i've got Sky presenters David Bobin and Georgie Thompson to thank for that