Andy Townsend (Heavy Weekend: 2/4)

So after getting back home, me and S trudged our way into alty to get the bus into town. Jobber was to meet us there, but me and S were feeling pretty knackered by the time we got to the bus station

luckily a picture of Garth Crooks made me perk up a bit on the bus

it was Sarah's 21st, so she decided to spend it with us in South. You can't really tell from this photo though

this one is better. I still have not managed to to fully capture the whole of 'South' on the ceiling. I think that is because I am a shit photographer

these two had been to Alton Towers for Sarah's birthday. Martyn looked like he'd caught the sun

It was a toss up between 42's and here, but Golds sold it to us by saying he was bringing some girls from work

we got in dangerously early. Still £5 in though

the two women were doing their usual lesbonic dancing to an empty club until some drunk clowns came up for a bit of banter. Think they were barking up the wrong tree though...


I gave the camera a look of contempt that would rival S

it did start to get busier

we stuck on the cans of XXXX


there was still no golds though. S and jobber switched onto dark rum and cokes. I was being a good boy cos I had a bbq to attend the next day and didnt wanna be battered in the morning


finally Golds arrived. with no women, he brought a sausage fest along instead- a couple of his disgruntled mates from work

this bird either had a large arse, or shouldn't be wearing those kind of dresses. We couldn't work it out

they announced on the dancefloor that Tony Wilson/Anthony H Wilson had died. I wasn't that arsed though- he was rude to me once when I had to serve him and his teen angel daughter in Mobberley

golds was properly fucked

but he still got his sleaze on. She looked pretty sound, albeit as leathered as him

on the dancefloor, someone mistook Martyn for industrious midfielder, Andy Townsend...

this man couldn't be happy though


jobber got covered in drink like a big spaz. Again

I got two birds scoping me, but was too sober to do anything. One of them was a mature as well, but the semi-validation was enough for me

Meanwhile, Golds was lone wolfin' it- but he was too drunk to be successful and was pinging about like a pinball on the dancefloor

more spillage


I left early to check Golds hadn't run off, but he was ok. He forgot to get some girls number after being a bit rapey and then tried to kiss Martyn. Sarah wasn't happy and chased him up and down the road. All in all, a night low on carnage & banter really

Third installment of the weekend to follow in a few days