Reconnaissance

as mentioned on the previous post, the next day I was off to Scotland to scope my new pad

we made our way up through the Lakes

luckily I had the Worlds Worst Person with me, so nothing could go wrong...

apart from a smoking back wheel that is. I spotted it and pulled over into the service station. Fucking karma.

not even my sat nav could help matters, so I rang the Oracle (r kid) and he put me on the right track

whilst waiting for the breakdown service, I read the paper and had a coffee with S outside. The fingers of doom on the pic were for...

this dreamface

her face is looking more skeletal by the day. She still gives me the horn though

the cavalry arrived!

I couldnt be happy for proceedings

S could

the guy had to take off the wheel and then screw it back on cos it was too tight. I had a service that morning but I didnt realise it was done in the wild west

eventually we got going and were only about 2 hours behind schedule

we knew we were across the border when a load of oddly named places cropped up

I dont remember falling asleep at the wheel

our B & B was quite nice

it had all the mod cons...

it was a twin room so I avoided any 'floor sleeping tactics' from the WWP that he uses to trick women into sleeping with him

me and S got ready to go out, and he gave a nod to the EpiclyTolstoy blog with this mirror snap

we walked blindly into Ayr, not knowing where to hammer

River Ayr

theyve got a mint Wetherspoons that used to be a church in the town centre

we pumped a load of bunse into the quizzer

my camerawork managed to miss our name on the scoreboard

after a load of vitamin G's we left spoons then got cat calls from some girls on the street. We were too scared so we scarpered...

we found some indie pub

we combined boozing with match of day carnage

booze...booze...booze...

I got us both on the vodka/water's

around midnight we went upstairs to the club. It was pretty dead so we got some banter on with the cloakroom girl and helped her do a wordsearch till it filled up

it eventually filled up with low self-esteemers

me and S got sharked by some birds. he got cock blocked by some jealous guy she worked with. Can't be happy?

this bird loved me

so did this 'guy'. He kind of looked like a girl with a beard but with breath that smelt of lies. It was awful, but I just used him as a pivot and sent him out to find women for me in the club whilst S was sleazing on the dancefloor

me and S called it quits and went for a subway

along the way we spotted this. I dont know if they mean southerners as in English, or southerners as in cockneys so was unsure whether to like the advert or not

next day we checked out of the B&B and I added Les Chegwin to the guestbook

I went to scope my new house. It was quaint, with the interior like a grandma's house

this is my room

I live five minutes from the sea

journey home

congestion