If I take my flares off I will pull my pants down!

It was that time of the month again- The Smiths/Morrissey night at the Star & Garter!!

unfortunately it was pretty toilet...

Two new recruits- Tolstoy and Golds' mate Paul from Stoke

I told Golds and Paul of my carnage the previous night with some idiot bird

moz tried all kinds of drinks, most of which I cant remember- one tasted like Haze Air Freshener

Then he had a crack at producing his own cocktail- the Androgini...

mmm...fruity

meanwhile Princey was keeping an eye out for a very spicy shirt he's bidding for on Ebay. He's more concerned with winning it than losing it cos it looks a tad 'outrageous'

I was dispatched to the bar to buy a shitload of scratchin's. I just handed her about a fiver in shrapnel and said 'can I have as many bags of scratchin's for that?'

jobber jumped on the bandwagon and gave me some cash even though he didnt know what he was buying

Princey showed fellow trained killa Paul his 1 inch punch. Apparently paul said it was just a '1 inch push'

Tolstoy wore his obligatory flesh coloured socks

eventually we tore upstairs to what can only be described as a sausage fest.

there were approx 5 girls on the dancefloor, and the rest was filled up with gay men and goons

luckily catface was there again. looking all dreamy in a flowery dress

jobber reenacted a similar scene from a few months back

he can't be yours Golds...

these two seemed like supermodels to us lot due to the lack of poonage

so we just got hammered instead. It must have been painful for a sober man like Tolstoy

sober?

Golds began scraping the barrel

meanwhile me and jobber went for some Wotsits and banter downstairs.

I used one of the Ferrero Roche's on some nice looking bird but she wasnt having it. I threw it on the floor in disgust

Golds was destroyed, but he was careful not to fall over like a big twat

then we went for an english breakfast in a cafe next to Piccadilly Station. It was excellent

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