Saturday 16 December 2006

"...you've got really young legs..."


I picked jobber up from his place to avoid lateness. he called me a paedophile for taking snaps outside his house

turns out we were the first ones there. makes a change i suppose


Moz and Golds rocked up at Timperley. Moz complete with flares and camp pose

Hot on their trail was Karl.turns out dc and moz couldnt get tickets for the met.
they covered their backs by ringing the metrolink spastic hotline for golden tickets

Karl was sporting some rude holes in his slacks. think he was trying to compete with jobber over who wears the most battered clothing.

Moz managed to screw up a joke and pulled out of it after the first two words...turns out it was funnier than the joke. We discussed going the Northern Quarter but the wheels fell off when excess walking in the rain was needed. Decided upon Aqua. but then we missed the met stop for it and swung into St Peters Sq.

Font was next on the agenda. and in the direction of the umbrella girls.

dc managed to fuck the round up by getting his own in. we spotted a table with no chairs to loom around.
there was a load of gary men 'oi oi'ing it on pro eves for some reason. time was spent pissing ourselves at pictures of keith on our phones.

i got my round in and discovered two birds had infiltrated the crew. one of which looked like someone i erotic'ly touched in benidorm

"please help me i don't know how to talk to girls"
that, and the fact that kids at his school call him Mrs Morrison.
nice work moz. you're fighting off the rumours well...

i got introduced as being called 'Dreamboat' by Karl. i definately gained credibility from that.
i have no idea what either were called. one was scouse and the other indian though. the scouser appeared to have shoulderpads on the go

as golds uttered the immortal line "...you've got really young legs..." to the two birds, me, dc, jobber and mrs morrison hit the quizzer.
dc satisfied his lust for Buzzle. dont think we won anything.

the tarts went to the SugarLounge. and we decided on goin somewhere of equal stature.
then for some reason we measured our hand spans. golds won. me and jeremy beadle came last i think.

golds got berated by me and dc for derailing us all with the two birds. i took my comments back though.
he got mocked for not getting their numbers- i thought there was potential for future carnage but he didnt seem to mind.

bigman made a surprise appearance on a friday night and met us in 5th Ave. he'd be out on the razzle in alty and jumped on the bandwagon to town for some vodka redbull carnage.

putting a water bottle top on a lager bottle doesnt work. it only works in making you look like a twat.

the odd couple. a rare sighting- side by side.
its a bit like sitting a Nazi soldier next to a jew. albeit a jew who enjoys white wine spritzers...

dc got a bit pissed off that me and captain carnage went off for a scope round the top floor of 5th ave.


moz was breaking his record for staying out- he nearly hit the midnight mark but alas he disappeared into the night soon after this snap.


dancefloor carnage. and broody looks from jobber...

i got my sleaze on and necked hatface. she had some sort of bizarre strawberry necklace

we lost dc and bigman and presumed they had left. we all got our coats and golds threatened to batter the clown who was juggling upstairs

karl lost his ticket for the cloakroom

a debate was had. dc went off to the rescue.

bigman was properly tanked. and he had work in the morning. enjoy that...

dc did his kofi annan in an effort to secure the release of karls coat. the Nigerian cloak attendant was having none of it

we got told when they came back that we had to come back when its shut at 3am for his coat.
the crew split- jobber, bigman and golds got a taxi home.
me dc and karl decided to go for a curry then come back for 3

golds infuriated dc with a remark as we walked past the lass o'gowrie towards spa. so much so that dc said he was cut unless an apology was forthcoming

dc continued to vent his spleen. i was transfixed by a girl wearing a cricket jumper but i had the fear and couldnt take a picture of her.

"one vindaloo and 14 pilau rice geezer"

karl and me got chicken dansak and dc got tikka. and a lemonade the posh bastard.

back to the motherland. took forever but we got his coat.
dc wanted to batter the juggler who was juggling quite badly outside in the street.


game over

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Top night boys! I definately regret not getting that birds number. She was fit. Apologies to DC for me being a mincer. Glad to hear karl eventually got his coat back. See u guys tonight for more carnage.