Guest Blogger: Captain Carnage

Borthwick was not out cos he was busy getting his sleaze with some German bird.
The crew consisted of me (Golds), Rob, DC, S, Tin Tin & Big Man. Doctor Karl was busy saving lives at the hospital.

Started off in the old monkey with Princey looking delish!

The pints at the Old Monkey tasted of turd. God knows why we drink there.

The World's worst man.

S eating for a change. He had 2 bags of peanuts to tide him over.

The mental barmaid asked for my number , so I obliged but I didn't realise that she had 2 chins.

Princey! The campest man in Timperley

Moved to the Venue which was quality but spotted that they had not actually finished it yet.

Bumped into a load of guys from Alty Boys. They were sound. Had a load of banter.

Caught S trying to get his sleaze on to this bird. She was obviously fucked.



Check out these 2 dreamboats! As you can see we all got battered.

Angry!

Ian Davenport was even more leathered than the rest of us.

Think Grundy is trying to bum S who is loving it. It's a function his bird can't provide.

Think this is Grundy's bird.

Jamie was a mess.


My co-ordination problem kicked in again. I am a spaz!


Treats for Big Man. He was very excited at this.

Once again, S is getting his sleaze with on with some bird.

She wasn't that impressed with Big Man.

She loved us!

Call the police. Violation

They were looking at lesbian porn on their phones.

These 2 hated us. They must be retarded.

Rob no longer gets angry on nights out. He is at peace with the camera.

Treats for Golds

Big Man got chucked out so we left at 2:45 and got an Allens. Tastey but ill!

This guy hated having his photo taken. Think he's illegal.

In the taxi. Fucked

I am never doing the blog again. It takes fucking hours! I don't know how Borthwick can be arsed!

"Thats absolutely astonishing!"

Met up at 8 and tore over to The Old Monkey. Havent been there for a while cos the last time the lager tasted odd
When we arrived Golds pointed out my battery was nearly dead so I had to use it sparingly like the glorious picture above
Karl joined the latest crew member to sport my Sharpe jacket...
unfortunately its been wounded in battle and I've lost a button
He also wanted to have banter with someone involving the phrase 'absolutely astonishing'

more 'bromance' was to come, even with the absense of the Crown Prince of Camp-Moz


Karl and dc decided to play 'throw pieces of dirty beermat in each others drinks'
its a modern classic, up there with destroying cig butts with piss
whoever ended up with some in their pint had to neck it. dc lost...

down in one! down in one! down in one!

jobber came out with another stain on his jeans, it looks like he's been playing cricket.
his Jeremy Beadle hand helped identify which crew member it was for the blog...

in other news, he made 'a huge mistake' and cut his flowing locks.
He wont even swear at the camera no more.
That puts me back as the top dog in the hair stakes


This barmaid hated:

- Golds for mocking her when she came to collect stuff on the table; and
- DC for some reason when he asked her where we should go.
She said something along the lines of 'you should go there but without HIM'

Me, Karl and Jobber were probably considered as some sort of dreamboats
There was much discussion as to where we should go
We even did the democracy vote but it seemingly didnt work

So we tossed a coin to decide our fate:

- Heads was Tiger Lounge
- Tails for One Central


We hit One Central but it was like Hillsborough. Without the dead scousers though

Golds and Karl did their best but its always hard when the dancefloor's rammed

bromance

a decision was made to jump ship and head over to Tiger Lounge for some carnage

but first we had to tighten up...

I felt like a piece of loam after that




Dark Rum & Coke. Its the drink of kings
No? oh...

dc reenacted that stinkers pose from the smiths nite
(http://epiclycarnage.blogspot.com/2007/01/he-never-dies-there.html)

Karl sported my muslim prayer beads


I was getting my drunken sleaze on. Golds got video evidence

Her hair smelt of dreams

I have no idea what these lot were up to, I went MIA

It certainly looks like the wheels had well and truly fallen off though

treats

DC was loving life.
He came over to me and said 'I'm leaving'


Getting a drunken sleaze-on...

I contemplated a tactical 2 fingers job, but it wasnt happening...


We left eventually and joined dc
His hair was amazing that night. It was all Morrisseyesque (Kill Uncle period)

Luckily a curry put a smile on davey boys face and we hopped into a taxi to Rusholme


Jobber disappeared to the toilets for a long time. He didnt gak though

Golds kept up his napkin tradition on EpiclyCarnage

We felt we got screwed over with the bill so we gave them less than required and lots of contempt
my Dansak was absolutely astonishing. utter toss it was