"I'm gonna go up to a bird and ask her if my tits are big enough for a bra"

We spent the next day bumming around playing pro eves and then watching Under the Cherry Moon. Jobber enjoyed it

tolstoy wasnt really concentrating and left towards the end to shave his head

his mum was busy making an excellent bbq for us

it had allsorts...chicken satay, ribs, sausages. But I mainly enjoyed the cherry tomatoes. Jobber announced that he goes from loving to hating tomatoes without any real justification

the weather was aces

after the scran we made our way into town to watch the football. Tolstoy made me and jobber walk for 45mins

he was sweating like S on an arcade game

so he decided to wet his face in the toilets and then us all the icecubes in his drink on his sweaty little hands

I wasn't too bothered who won really

I got to try the new Guinness Red. Its pretty dreamy

after the footy we went to 'Talk'. Or, as the locals say 'Tawk'
peasants...

we got there rediculously early

the fucking UV lights made my Sharpe jacket look filthy so I put it in the cloakroom

drinks were £1.80 till midnight though

tolstoy announced "I'm gonna go up to a bird and ask her if my tits are big enough for a bra"

B*witched were cammin to tawk as well (unfortunately my favourite Lindsay is out of the mix)

I tried to capture a couple of sluts on the dancefloor but I missed cos I'm awful

got this little sexie second time round though. just

as the dancefloor filled, this foreign looking hero was sleazing into women in the only way he knew. By dancing badly very close to them

In the meantime we switched to vodka lemonades and hit them hard before midnight


it filled up with your typical southern touches. all with short hair, slightly tubby and with stripey shirts/tops

In reality they should have dressed like this guy. He probably more effeminate than me. Probably

then the star of the night turned up. Baby D!

she was okay I suppose. All the garys got back to their dancing after the Baby D interruption

hometime


we could have been anywhere from this picture. Taj Mahal, Red Square (if either of those decided to light them up at night with tacky red neon)

I didnt even get to see the seaside

But I did get to see an International Café. For chips and garlic mayo!


then onto the taxi. I did a Nick Schofield and said I wouldnt eat them in the taxi. and then did exactly what I promised not to do


sex crime evidence? or garlic mayo?

tolstoy forgot his house keys and had to run into his garage full pelt to bump the lock

I was too busy enjoying myself


He let us in the front door. But not before I left him a present on his bike


tolstoy stripped for bed

check out those beauties!

Prince and First Class biscuits. Its some some of dream

A meeting of blogs

Me and jobber decided to go and see Tolstoy darn sarf

we missed our coach cos we were retarded and it picks you up from an ordinary busstop. We went for pintsand banter whilst waiting for the next one

We nearly missed our second coach cos we went to get The Guardian paper

I had an assortment of reading material

so did Jobber

it was one of those adventure books. it was amazing

then we got off at Victoria and made our way to the tube

there were no Circle Line trains so me and jobber just stood around looking simple

eventually we got to Liverpool St and then onto a train to Southend


then we saw Tolstoy!

he took us to an O'Neills to watch the united match

then from there we to an 'Its a Scream' bar

it was full of teens and was dirt cheap booze. Tolstoyalso sported his cockney cap

so cheap, that a round of Snakebites cost a whopping £3.75...

around this time Tolstoy showed us his cutting responses to some bird with severe low self esteem. At least the worlds worst person or me don't text cold responses (we both ignore them)

a meeting of two blogs... For cross reference check (http://epiclytolstoy.blogspot.com/2007/04/time-to-pick-up-jobber-and-borth-they.html)

I tried to teach tolstoy how to drink vodka/water but it took 6 goes until he became proficient. After a few I got a my neck on with some bird who works with shoes. I'm sure epiclytolstoy will have snaps of my drunken sleaze

hometime

spicy

taxi banter

I seemed to find it amusing that Rochford looked like Roachford, the RnB hero. no? oh...

we got back to Tolstoys pad

but before we went in he showed us his collection of bikes. Jobber did a butch pose for the blog

then he reheated a curry his mum had set out for us. It was top
Tolstoy then decided to washup. In his boxers and vest


before bedtime, Tolstoy showed us his collection of weapons

scared?